Father's Day

What a great Father's Day!  One boy in for the weekend and another taking the day off to spend at home. That song "Cat's in the Cradle" running through my mind and I am thinking, "Wow, I did a great job!"... then I woke up.  


The blessing of family is just that, a blessing.  My ability to instill a feeling of manhood and discipline to my boys is one more example of God's grace in my life.  They have grown into men who care for others, sacrifice their time, fight for what they believe is right and most of all, they have confidence and faith in the path God has put before them. Just for the record, any of those qualities I have developed over the years were not present at 20 and 17 years of age.  Nor did I have the confidence in faith for God to guide me.  Simply put, some run from God, and we see that as foolish, I tried to dig a hole to China to get away from God, so how dumb was that?


My fears, insecurities and well-rounded belief system (not sure how to type in a sarcastic tone) may have stunted the boys more than helped, unless you count the "Do Not Do This Chapter" as a valuable part of the training manual. What God has done through these guys is show me how to be a person strong in faith and committed to going where directed.  Church is not a building where judgement is the focus...helping others is not a scam and giving to the church is not a retirement plan for those who happen to be in charge.  Yes, the world is a tough place and there is evil, but what I have learned is we are here to be examples of the alternative.  Yes, I have learned.  They have taught me and in return, here are a few of the awesome lessons I have passed on to them:


* If you cannot hand me the tool I need, don't help.
* When I say "listening is important, I mean you listening to me."
* Cursing is the best way to express yourself.
* People are inherently bad and you should not trust anyone.
* Family is everything, that is why I travel for work all of the time.
* Family is important, that is why when I don't travel, I am at work.
* Sure I believe in you, I just won't let you try because I can do it better.
* I can yell louder, so I win.
* I had it tough, so you should too.


And my personal, "I will never be my Dad line..."


**Do as I say, not as I do...


Yes, God is very good!  My skill set for teaching boys to be men is the equivalent of taking a Physics class using a Wood Shop textbook. (and maybe not even that good)


Please don't misunderstand, I do not sit around on Father's Day and fret about what a poor parent I have been.  Just like the realization that my life has been saved through grace, without a thing I could do to earn it, I review the wonderful blessing of two boys that I did not deserve.  Two boys I was never equipped to raise, but through that same grace, saw the ability of God to not only raise them, but raise me in the process.  Father's Day is a very big day for me.  Not for the recognition of how "awesome" I am (more sarcasm, but you knew that) but another day of being thankful for a gift I received in love.  A gift to care for and nurture.  And while I would love to take credit for two of the best young men I know, I am simply thankful to be a part of their lives.


Good job boys, you have raised  me well!

"Be sure to save room..."

What kind of "Foodie" would I be without a good food story? :)


As I sit thinking about responsibility, getting older and both my age and the responsibilities seem to grow proportionately, I am wondering why it is so difficult to have faith that all things are possible?  The normal answer when someone asks what faith is usually includes an answer that includes "believing in something you cannot see...", "it's like sitting in a chair..." or my favorite, "you just know...".  While I completely understand the definition of anything that is so personal and yet untouchable, should be difficult to explain.  Maybe that's why they say we "live by faith...setting an example".


My point here, however, is not so much the definition, but why it is so hard to have faith?  I believe there can be miracles...I actually believe there are miracles every day, we have just become numb them and take them for granted.  Anyone seen a sunrise lately?  Been to the ocean, or just looked up at the Fall sky and surveyed the incredible beauty of how small we really are?  These are the easy miracles.  Each of us has a miracle in our lives...almost daily, if we really look.  So why can't we have faith??


Easy answer, it is so ambiguous...


Sure, I believe, but bad things happen even if I have faith.  Why leave my conscious understanding of the world and be caught with my guard down when everything hits the fan.  Global warming, bullies at school and work, drunk parents, sick family members, war, famine, poorly run government, terrorism...where does my faith get me with all of these tangible threats?  Daily I hear that we are ruining the world we live in and that natural and man-made disaster is around the corner.  Neighbors, news outlets and people on the street all say the economy and the general state of the world has never been worse, until tomorrow where it will certainly decline to new lows.


Amazingly, through this review of reasons for the lack of ability to have faith, I have found faith is not lost, but rather mis-guided...


If it is so hard to have faith there is a God that loves us unconditionally and wants what's best for us, why is it so easy to believe every person in a different wardrobe is out to get us?  Why can we embrace the worst in people though we have never met them?  How can we have faith the world is on the way down and the people have nothing but despair and suffering to look forward to each day when we can take time to see those miracles?  We have placed our faith in what the stranger on a plane tells us, rather than a God that loves us.  


I am reminded of when my kids were younger and out to dinner with us.  Of course there were vegetables involved and without fail, once the chicken and macaroni and cheese were gone, with nothing left but green beans, my sons were full.  "Sorry Dad, I just cannot eat any more...I am too full".  My response was firm at first, eat the vegetables and if you throw them up, I will apologize.  That only works if you do not put the "puke" idea in their heads...you do apologize, by the way.  My next approach applies more to the current discussion...


When the pleas for mercy began, I simply accepted their refusal to eat the vegetables.  The sense of relief was evident and they were able to enjoy the family time without the pressure of learning the benefits of a balanced diet.  When my wife and I finished our meal and the waiter came by to clear plates, there was the typical, "Did you save room for dessert?", to which I resolutely responded, "Absolutely, but just for my wife and me, the boys are too full." I then went on to enjoy, and sometimes suffer through, my dessert as the boys watched with significantly more pain than the vegetables offered them.  This process only occurred a few times before the message was burned into their brains...we do not make up excuses to avoid the tough stuff.  When we struggle, there is a blessing at the end.


No one is foolish enough to believe the times we are experiencing are easy.  Unemployment, natural disasters, war and the unavoidable consequences of living in a society that has believed it is "above it all", can be a terrifying environment.  The God that loves us unconditionally is sitting at the table and reminding us that vegetables are good for us.  Yes, that is over-simplified and gives a strong argument to "the wisdom of man (being) folly...", but are there not "vegetables" for all of us?  We find it so easy to believe those vegetables will be the death of us, but forget the dessert that awaits us all if we have the faith to stop "faking" the fullness of the world.  "I am sorry God, but I am so full of remorse and fear, there is no room for faith"; "Really, I am going to puke if I have to believe everything is under control"; "God, you don't understand, it's just too much!"...


How silly will we look when dessert comes?  Believe me, heaven is the best dessert ever...worth every "vegetable" this world can throw at you!  Funny how we don't change much from when we were kids.  We still want the dessert without the balance of the vegetables.  How much sweeter is dessert when it is getting rid of the broccoli taste!


I know the pursuit of a more faith-filled life is not going to be easy, and surely the challenges will be tough, but I know I will make it.  I have faith.  

"Decide what to be, and go be it..."

The joy of Christmas is a sharp reminder of how joy-less we can be during the other 364 days...

Sure, there are births, marriages, graduations and a number of exciting moments in our year that bring a moment of joy followed by the reality of living with the blessing.  My uncle used to say, "It's not what it costs in the store, but what it costs 5-10 years down the road."  Frankly, my uncle was very cheap and this quote was usually met with the painful reality whatever I was asking for was going to stay on the shelf. (still want a Stretch Armstrong!)

As my age gets closer to where my uncle was at that time, these quotes actually make some sense and when I really think about it, what he was saying was will the purchase retain its value long after the purchase?  He could have just said that and I would have understood, but where is the drama in that quote walking out the door and waving his hand to hurry me up to the truck.  A truck he drove until he died, by the way.

He was full of quotes about money.  Simple and to the point, but now such a part of me.  Another related to how the cost of an item related to how long you should maintain it.  "If something costs more than $100, there's a part that will fix it, you don't need a new one!"  This too was a part of that long-lasting value we had to consider if we were going to buy something.  And when we bought something, we paid cash.  "If it's something you really need, you'll have the cash to buy it.  Credit means you want it, not need it."

Back to Christmas...

That joyless 364 may relate to the fact we miss the value of the price paid "in cash" for us.  Yes, God paid in the most valuable commodity He had...His Son.  The value of that purchase is just as valuable today as it was the day He was nailed to the cross.  Just like my uncle said, anything that costs that much can be fixed to retain the value.  Each of us is a working part of the Body of Christ.  Each of us needs a "tweak" now and then.  Sometimes we need to be rebuilt, but we are never discarded.  The value God has placed upon us is the life of His Son.  While the value of the dollar, yen, ruble, etc. may move, the value of salvation has remained constant.  I have 220,000 miles on a 1995 Chevy pick-up right now and that is a drop in the bucket compared to eternity.  That truck is special to me, and I will do/spend whatever it takes to keep it running.  It makes me upset at times, it gives me joy to think about its history and how long it has taken care of members of my family and there are times when I use others to get it back up and running.  Never do I think of letting it go.

The truck has no feelings, so there is no chance for it to thank me, or say, "Wow, you really care about me!", but I do.  That truck has a value I cannot measure...not the level I have for my family, but you know what I mean.  I would like to believe if my truck could talk, it would be happy there is someone looking out for it.  Taking care of it even when it doesn't realize it needs help.  Telling other vehicles how happy it is knowing there is nothing that could break I would not fix.

My uncle gave me my first Bible.  He was a grump and did not spend a lot of time "sugar-coating" things. He told me what I needed to know, what I should know, and how to find out what I should know.  That Bible was with him for almost his entire life, except the part he trusted me to take care of it.  When he gave it to me, there were notes scribbled, names of people that needed prayer, birthdays of kids, adults and people I never knew.  There were dates of funerals for family and friends.  His life was in that Bible.  He understood the value of his purchase.  I gave his Bible back when I purchased my own because his had done the job.  The moment I realized the purchase had been made for me, I knew it was time to start my life in my own book.  When I gave his back, he left me with what is my favorite lesson...

"Now that you have your own book to fill, remember this: you will make mistakes, some small and some big.  You will have success and joy in your life. In all of this, you will be loved and forgiven.  You were bought by the Blood."

I have truly made mistakes, big and small.  I have truly had joy in my life.  My uncle remembered that joy daily...I still need some tweaking.

I miss him

Blessings

Really hard to believe I have lived nearly half a century and have been married nearly a quarter of a century.  Ask my wife and she will probably say it feels exactly like a quarter of a century...might have received the same response at a tenth of a century...

The winter air and Texas sun I have been living under for so long, along with the thoughtful lyrics from the Avett Brothers have me wondering how thankful I really am for the blessings I have received.

During the construction of a building, the most intimidating portion of the project is rarely the heavy work; clearing, foundation, framing, masonry, plumbing, electric.  The scariest part of a project is the finishing touches.  Sure, you can install a breaker panel with 500amps to provide as much, or more power as you will ever need, but put the outlet in the wrong place and that power is rendered useless.  (ask any man with a wife that needs her plugs for the "getting ready" equipment)  Put up wall after wall of sheet rock, tape and bed, float and texture, but paint those walls the wrong color and it's the difference between an easy sell or no sale.  You can play this little game with every aspect of a big project; windows/drapes, kitchen/counter-space, living room/cable connection, and on and on, never to be perfect.  Each project is a future renovation long before the final touches are complete.

We were born with a renovation already in progress.  Whether you believe it or not, we are under a constant "improvement" process that can be fine detail touches, or major tear out remodels.  Constantly improving, but never being satisfied until the project is complete, though like most renovations, the clutter and frustration can slow the speed with which we would like to see results.  At those times, it always seems we find something to be excited about.  "Look at how much room we have now!", "The garden looks so colorful!", "Now everyone can sit down for dinner!"  Shortly after any of these wonderful moments will come the complaints..."All this room, and no furniture to fill it!", "Is that a weed?!", "Everyone's coming here for the holiday, now I have to cook and clean!"

Blessings/improvements are a funny thing.  With each blessing comes an added (here it comes) responsibility.  And here is the really tough part, we are blessed EVERY DAY!  You know that feeling you get when you go to the beach and look out to the ocean?  "Man, I am really small in the big picture of things", "I am insignificant, so why try?", "What value can I really add?" Well, my friend, you are one of the "details" in the big scope of things.  Sure, I'm a light switch, great...but what if that light switch allows the parents of a small child to check-in on them at night?  Great, I'm a door knob, but what if that door knob is on the door of a church?  Awesome, I am a vaulted ceiling, but what if that ceiling is in a hall where music resonates for everyone to enjoy?

Overblown? A little, maybe, but here are a few more that may hit home.  I'm just a fisherman, what value do I add?  I'm a dishwasher, an accountant, a carpenter.  Each is a finishing touch on a wonderful work being created in love.  Each of us plays a part, and while a sprinkler head only works for about 7-20 minutes 2-3 times a week, look at the results that can be produced.  Even better, the sprinkler head does that work without even realizing it is happening.  It's automatic.  We are the details and we impact people every day, whether we know it, or not.  Sure, the sprinkler head needs adjustments, as do we, but we have the ability to move freely and be moved to do the right things.  Who better to place the sprinkler, than the person who designed the garden?

Back to wondering if I am thankful enough for the blessings I have received.  I wonder if I am thankful for the opportunity to be a blessing when needed.  Whether I am a road flare, only to be used once to help others, or a light house that others look to for comfort and direction every day, I am thankful that I am a detail in a set of plans much bigger than I can comprehend.

Merry Christmas!

"Deserve has got nothing to do with it..."

When Clint Eastwood delivers that line to Gene Hackman at the end of Unforgiven, there is a sense that Clint's character understands what most of us seem to miss.  I am not speaking to those who have not found Jesus as their Savior, but rather those who have...


As we move into a new year, new beginning and so on, I challenge you to catch yourself each time you mention to God you deserve something.  It's a tricky game to play, but I have some pointers for being good at the challenge:


When you find you are caught in traffic, on the way to do charity work, Bible study, church, or any other service opportunity for God.  What do you do when you are cut-off, stuck behind an accident or just delayed?  Yes, we all get frustrated, but isn't there a sense that we should have an "open lane" to do God's work?  Why would he slow down your progress on doing His work?  It's obviously satan trying to test me, because I don't deserve this!


At work, we all have that person we cannot understand.  You know the one, they talk about inappropriate things, cuss, annoy, don't fit in, or fit in too much.  Why would God put this person in my life?  It's obviously satan trying to test me, because I don't deserve this!


My family lost a dear member and in the process left us with an additional household to maintain in his absence.  Believe me, I thought he was a saint when he was alive, but now I know after the numerous maintenance issues that he took care of on a regular basis while keeping his business going and taking care of his wife who needed special care.  I made a promise to take care of things shortly before he passed and I will keep that promise.  Why are there so many issues?  It's obviously satan trying to test me, because I don't deserve this!


Before I get into the game, please understand I know no one is perfect and each of us can fall into one of these common pitfalls.  The point of this note, is how do we respond to these situations?  I read somewhere that we either react or respond to situations.  Reaction is emotional and usually attached to inexperience with situations.  Response is a calculated action based upon experience. (super over-simplified, but hey, it's me, not Dr. Phil)


When things don't go our way, we usually react versus respond...see items above.  In each case, when we react we realize what we are really saying when complaining about the situation; "God, you messed up here!".  Then, once we have realized how that sounds, we start our "spin control" by blaming it on satan, or the world, you know the routine.  This reaction we have is the "I deserve" reaction.  Why would God do this to me?  I am doing so much for Him and look at what's happening to me.


Here's the deal, God does not give you more than you can handle and He certainly is not giving us what we deserve.  Let's compare:


Wages of sin is death...God gives us His only Son...who got the better of that deal?


So let's put it in perspective:


Traffic or Eternal separation from God?


Tough person to get along with or Eternal separation from God?


Keeping a difficult promise or Eternal separation from God?


When we put it in those terms it's a no-brainer.  Super easy to say and read, but it's not going to be that easy.  For example, if you are actually trying to read this and your computer crashes, there is a better-than-zero chance you will look up and say "Why!".  That is where we get back to response versus react.  The more you prepare for the unknown, the more likely you will be to respond rather than react to what God has put before you.  Yes, God put before you.  Let's look at our scenarios again and respond:


Traffic Jam:  Lord, I hope everyone is all right if there is an accident.  Maybe I am rushing around too much and God wants me to slow down if I will not do it myself.  I was minutes behind that accident, thank you Lord for protecting me.


Person at work:  Instead of "God, why did you put this person in my life?", ask, "God, why did you put me in this person's life?"  


Tough Promises:  Lord, thank you for the time I did have with him to learn how to handle issues without complaining.  Never did he complain, or ask for a way out of doing what needed to be done.  His example for me and my boys was a blessing.  Give me the strength to take care of my family just like he did.


None of this is easy and frankly I get a little nervous when I ask God for strength, because anyone who has worked out to get stronger understands that means more weight on the bar.  This note is simply a reminder to keep things in perspective.  God sacrificed His only Son that we might not have to get what we truly deserve.  


Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is     eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. 


Happy New Year!

Be Strong and Courageous!

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

How incredible is the mind?  While I am not an expert on Goethe, this quote applies to all of us.  Look at all of the people we consider successful and how people look to them for guidance after they have seemingly solved the riddles we never knew existed.  Donald Trump knows how to get money from other people and in the process, go broke then come out with more money than he started with...pure genius.  Is he a good man, I don't know.  Does he care for others, I don't know.  But since he has effectively placed himself in the limelight, he must be awesome!

I believe what is awesome about "The Trump" is more his ability to present himself consistently as successful and always correct.  It would not surprise me if he spent 20-30 minutes every day reminding himself that he is right and no one can change his mind.  The constant narrative running in his head throughout the day that the world is his oyster.  What confidence!

Trust me, I am not a huge fan of Donald Trump, but I am a fan of anyone who can stand alone (and never underestimate just how alone Donald Trump really is) but still make their way and be successful despite their circumstance.  Our children could learn quite a bit from a person who does not appear to bow to peer pressure.  Is he smug?  Yes.  Can he be an ass? Yes.  Is he disliked in many circles?  Absolutely!  These are all perceptions from a distant public.  Who knows what he is really like, in those silent moments alone?  The learning point is this...follow your dream.  Be relentless in your pursuit of your dreams!  Never sell yourself short regarding the abilities you have and the goals you set for yourself.  Be strong and courageous! 

Read through the book of Deuteronomy some time and you will see that phrase a number of times.  God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of strength and power.  Is Donald Trump a believer in the power of Christ in our lives?  I have no idea.  That is not my responsibility, but rather his.  Those of us who do believe in Christ's ultimate sacrifice for our salvation, must consider how awesome our support base is when it comes to being bold.  We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!  How powerful!  How much genius, power and magic must be in the boldness we have through our Lord?  We pray for strength and direction and the opportunity to worship through our actions.  Be strong and courageous in those actions.

A quick note...these bold actions do not have to be cliff diving, alligator wrestling, etc.  They say people are incredibly fearful of public speaking.  We all know the joke about how death is second to public speaking for people when it comes to fear.  That means the person giving the eulogy would rather be in the coffin!  Speaking your mind, defending a point, friend, belief are all bold actions.  Living a life that gives as much as it gets is bold.  Taking care of family, supporting those that have little, is bold.  Being respectful and taking people where they are, is bold.  Living life as the gift it is can be the most bold action you ever take.  

As I mentioned, my thought is "The Donald" spends some time each day reinforcing his beliefs.  We should too.  Get up in the morning and ask for the guidance to do the best you can with the best attitude you can.  Ask for the courage to follow those dreams set before you and the strength to be prepared for whatever those dreams and goals may bring.  It will not always be easy, but easy is not always the best way.  

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Deuteronomy  31:6

Pretty Awesome! :)

Faith Takes Practice...

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.

Henry Ford 

Great quote!  Most of the time, we feel the force of the "wind" and want to move with it because the struggle seems too great.  When we do let the wind push us, we find ourselves struggling to get back to where we started, fatigued and frustrated.  How incredible is the faith that sees this as the opportunity to rise above the challenge and go farther than imagined!  

Why is this an act of faith?  Look at the position you would be in when spreading your wings...arms spread out, absolutely no protection and leaning into the on-coming gust of wind.  We are at our most vulnerable, giving up our control of the situation and trusting God to use the storm to lift us up.  Lifting us "on the wings of eagles...", (really cool verse!)  

So how do we know when to "let go" and let God lift us?  My belief is that while we think in terms of our current physical state...6'3" 250 pounds (somewhat challenging to lift for anything less than a hurricane-like issue) our faith can make us like a feather when it comes to God's loving support and guidance.  How many times do we say, "I've got this, I will save my prayers for the "big" stuff", or "I am not going to bother God with a prayer for direction on what carpet to buy, that's not what prayer is for."  My challenge to whoever reads this, is that we need to get better with practice.  

Pilots fly thousands of hours to improve take-off and landings, adjusting for storms and technical challenges, experiencing the wonder of being thousands of feet above the earth.  None of that happens without first facing the on-coming wind and accelerating into it.  For the person who is not a pilot, what an incredibly frightening experience to be in the cockpit during take-off!  For the pilot that lives it every day, reviewing their checklists and preparing for the task, it is just natural.  We take off into the wind every day...are we prepared?  Believe me, every day has its own storm front; traffic, laundry, homework or just trying to figure out how we fit into the big scheme of things.  Each of these opportunities to log flight time in faith will strengthen you for the upcoming challenges that may include a little more fear or second-guessing. Practice is paramount!  Reviewing your checklist is a must! (that's the Bible for those of you that cannot keep up with my over-obvious writing :) )  But each day we must, above all else, lean into the wind in order to take off.

C.S. Lewis had a great analogy about the debate over predestination versus free will that I will very loosely attach to my point.  His thought was that in life we are marching in a parade, through a large city where we can only see a short distance ahead as we try to stay on the parade route.  We have the ability to choose where we turn down side streets, or stay with the group, change groups or simply stand still.  Meanwhile, God is represented as the helicopter following the parade from high above.  He can see all of the options you have while on your journey, knowing the outcome of each choice while letting you make decisions along the way.  The point was that as participants in the parade, we should take time to look up and see where the helicopter was so we could align ourselves with what the parade route should truly be.

Now for the very loose attachment and an apology for C.S. Lewis having to roll over in his grave for being attached to my blog...

If we allow ourselves to be lifted by faith and aligned with God through our release of control over our lives, wouldn't we then have a better view of where God is leading us?  As we grow closer to God, don't we become more like Him?  I have been married for over twenty years and what they say is true...you do pick up mannerisms and traits along the way.  Certainly the word "Sweetie" was not predominant in my vocabulary before I met my wife, but now I use it all the time, and do not whisper it around my friends.  How cool are the attributes of God that we can pick up as we grow closer to Him!  How cool to demonstrate how great God is in more than just a whisper!  People are still amazed at the ability of a plane to get airborne.  How much more to see a person lifted above adversity by their faith! :)