So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2Cor 12:7-9
This passage has always intrigued me. The mystery of Paul's affliction is the question that does not have a clear, concise answer in the bible. Many theorize a vision problem caused by disease. It could be epilepsy, Malta fever, or simply something we have never heard of and will continue to ponder. We know he had a helper, Tertius, writing for him, which strengthens the vision problem, but still there is no clear, 'I can't see', or 'I am having seizures' moment in the bible.
Why not? Paul was not afraid to share. He was fearless in the pursuit of sharing the gospel and it's saving power. Why not let people know he was struggling with something he could not overcome? Well, it's not completely accurate that he did not share. The passage above counts as sharing, but not the kind of sharing I do when something hurts. He's bragging about the gift of this affliction. Not the way rednecks brag, "look at this scar I got from falling off my roof" bragging, but look at what God has given me to demonstrate the gospel is more important than the inconvenience of a human body.
I think it is masterful, better written Master-full, that we don't know what the exact issue was. If it was specific we would lose the opportunity to see God's blessings for us. When I think about what kind of affliction Paul was working through to spread the gospel, I naturally make it something I can relate to. He must be struggling with his past sins. He must be struggling with a blood clot. He must be struggling with pride. God must be punishing him for...
Hold it, it's not a punishment. It's a resting place for the power of Christ. It is an honor.
There are pastors that preach the prosperity gospel that protects you from pain and suffering. In fact, if you do not have enough faith, that prosperity can be hard to come by. If you do not believe and give enough, your burden will never be lessened. God punishes those that do not do enough.
Paul is teaching us through his affliction. Just as we see the blessings as gifts from God, the afflictions are blessings as well. They are resting place for Jesus to demonstrate His power, His love and His grace. We all hear about the super model that cannot get a date; the rich man that cannot buy what he really wants; the funny comedian that is tortured inside. Afflictions that can lead to a search for something that fills the void each share. A resting place for the grace of Jesus.
The wealthy Christian can have the same affliction as the wealthy non-believer, but the believer allows for Christ to rest in the suffering they carry. The woman that struggles with their image can let Jesus rest in their fears. The believer on the stage can let Jesus rest in their anxiety and stress of purpose. Paul did not want the affliction. He prayed three times for it to be taken away. Three times. Three. The number of divine completeness...Paul was a smart guy and the Bible is God breathed. You think that is a coincidence? Neither do I.
Paul knew that the answer to his request was complete and after three times praying (and I believe they were sincere, emotional cries) for relief, he realized the only relief he would have is through the blood of Jesus and the promise of eternal peace and a new body in the presence of his Savior. We are all sinners. We all have afflictions. The biggest is our eternal position with God. When Jesus died on the cross and was raised (wait for it) three days later, we were blessed with the opportunity to let Jesus rest in our lives, justifying our position with God and sanctifying our relationship throughout our time on this earth. We are still sinners, we still repent for the failure of our flesh. It can be a heavy burden and to each of us it can be a different circumstance, but it is all sin. But we as believers have Christ resting in our lives, continuing the growth and His purpose to spread the gospel. In our failure, His ministry relates to those trapped in their sin. In weakness, His truth allows a light that shines on the void in a person's life where Christ can rest in them. In our afflictions, physical, mental, emotional, His ministry is a beacon.
Paul knew this and as a human, just as Jesus asked to be relieved of His burden, Paul asked too. After three prayers for relief, Paul accepted his affliction as a resting place for God's grace. His ministry is so much stronger to me because knowing he was afflicted in a way that must have been noticeable, he still endured beatings, imprisonment, shipwrecks, snake bites and the tremendous wear and tear of travel. This includes the debates with leaders and those that would wish him dead. Through all of this, his acceptance of God's gift was not the end of his pain, but rather a beacon to those he encountered. Couldn't he just stop preaching? He's been beaten viciously. He's been in prison, yet he still talks about the wonderful peace and grace of Jesus. He offers his enemies this grace. He gives his all to demonstrate the love of Jesus through all of his suffering and he receives more suffering.
I have never been bitten by a snake. I have never been in a shipwreck. We can mark prison and lashes of the list as well. But my personal afflictions are real. The ones that I can use to keep me from sharing the gospel exist. My past, my pain, my insecurity are all there to give me an "out". Or, they can be an in for the grace of Jesus. When Jesus enters you life, it's not just your heart, it's every part of your body, mind and spirit. He is living in you within the grace and justification of a merciful God. He can rest in your affliction and His power can strengthen you to see past the moment of discomfort and through to the glory of our eternal life. Moreover, others will see past your affliction and see the light of grace that shines from you.
Ernest Hemingway said, "We are all broken, that's how the light gets in."
I think Paul was saying, We are broken, that's how the light gets out.
Monday, August 10, 2015
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
"A hard head makes for a soft butt..."
35Peter said to him, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” And all the disciples said the same. Matthew 26:35
What a cocky bunch those disciples were! Jesus told them they would scatter and even after his prideful denial of Jesus' omniscience, Peter went further to say he would die with Him before he denied Him. We know how the story went after that..thus, the "cockiness" of those who believe begins.
When I was a kid, I went to work with my uncles and helped on the farm. We would get up very early, eat breakfast, load up the trucks and head out for the day. As a small boy among some pretty big, country-strong men, the push to be a man was always there. Bags of tools, were in everyone's hands; the bigger the man, the bigger the bag of tools. In my young mind, these guys were giants. Incredibly strong, and tough with no fear of anything. Cuts, bruises, snakes, spiders, coyotes, tornadoes, they had an answer for all of them. I still look up to them and look to the wisdom they shared that I so pridefully set aside until I got a bit older.
Like Peter, I was a much stronger person in my heart and mind than I actually was. I was never happy just carrying tools to my uncles, I wanted to work. When I got a job digging post holes, I got my wish. There is very little in my life that has been more humbling than getting dropped off at one end of a fence line and told to make my way "to the turn" by dark. The "turn" was only a tenth of mile away, but we were putting posts every ten feet. That's 53 posts for those counting. My job was to dig the holes and place the posts. A tenth of a mile is kind of a long way and fifty-three 2ft holes makes it a lot longer. What makes this worse, is I asked for it. I was 10yrs old and wanted to be a man. My Uncle Dee told me over and over to be happy with what I was able to do and stop trying to be something I was not. I of course had some incredibly good arguments for giving me an opportunity to prove myself, but it was throwing a bag of tools that really convinced him I was the right man for the job.
I am not sure if everyone understands just how lonely a 3200 acre farm can be when you get stuck on the Western most corner by family that was less than impressed with your debating skills. Still, my pride flowed. I will show them all! I took my shovel and I began the job at hand. Five hours later, and five hours from nightfall, I was sitting next to my seventh hole. My hands hurt, I was sunburned and somehow my shovel weighed about 100 times more than it did when I started.
As darkness started moving in, I heard the truck. I knew it well, and while I was so happy it was coming, I was not so excited about the fact it was coming from the end of the line where I was supposed to be. This was going to be bad...Uncle Dee. Alone. Not good. I am from the era of corporal punishment and my Uncle Dee was a General. He was not about the volume of swats, but rather the effectiveness. Prideful smart talk from one of his nephews was grounds for what he called a "board meeting". However, that was not to be. He pulled up and got out of the truck with the first aid kit. He doctored my hands, checked me for ticks and anything else that may have decided to take advantage of an exhausted boy, then helped me load my tools in the truck and we headed for the house. He was quiet for about thirty seconds, then he told me what I needed to hear after a day of "softening" in the sun. "You are hard-headed and God deals with hard-heads from the rear end side of life. Pride is something that demands, not dreams. Find the value in what you do every day and be thankful. Everyone of us started where you are. Each of us learned the value of carrying the tools before we used them. To say you can do what they have taken years to learn is disrespectful. Can you carry the full tool bag? No. And we don't ask you to, instead we let you carry one more tool when you are ready. And before you know it, you will be carrying a full bag and able to use the tools all day with the callouses that come with carrying them. Life is not going to be easy and you will not have all of the answers, but if you learn nothing else from this day, remember pride will only make it worse, especially if you are trying to convince people you do have all of the answers."
The compilation of wisdom above is just some of what I carry from his legacy. There were more talks and there were "board meetings", but more than that, there was love. Unconditional love from a man that was still taking care of us long after we left the farm. He died in a head-on collision several years ago, heading into to town after working on his farm, mending fence posts. He was 88 and the only pride he took was in the salvation he was given for no other reason than "God so Loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son."
Still not man enough to carry his tool bag...
What a cocky bunch those disciples were! Jesus told them they would scatter and even after his prideful denial of Jesus' omniscience, Peter went further to say he would die with Him before he denied Him. We know how the story went after that..thus, the "cockiness" of those who believe begins.
When I was a kid, I went to work with my uncles and helped on the farm. We would get up very early, eat breakfast, load up the trucks and head out for the day. As a small boy among some pretty big, country-strong men, the push to be a man was always there. Bags of tools, were in everyone's hands; the bigger the man, the bigger the bag of tools. In my young mind, these guys were giants. Incredibly strong, and tough with no fear of anything. Cuts, bruises, snakes, spiders, coyotes, tornadoes, they had an answer for all of them. I still look up to them and look to the wisdom they shared that I so pridefully set aside until I got a bit older.
Like Peter, I was a much stronger person in my heart and mind than I actually was. I was never happy just carrying tools to my uncles, I wanted to work. When I got a job digging post holes, I got my wish. There is very little in my life that has been more humbling than getting dropped off at one end of a fence line and told to make my way "to the turn" by dark. The "turn" was only a tenth of mile away, but we were putting posts every ten feet. That's 53 posts for those counting. My job was to dig the holes and place the posts. A tenth of a mile is kind of a long way and fifty-three 2ft holes makes it a lot longer. What makes this worse, is I asked for it. I was 10yrs old and wanted to be a man. My Uncle Dee told me over and over to be happy with what I was able to do and stop trying to be something I was not. I of course had some incredibly good arguments for giving me an opportunity to prove myself, but it was throwing a bag of tools that really convinced him I was the right man for the job.
I am not sure if everyone understands just how lonely a 3200 acre farm can be when you get stuck on the Western most corner by family that was less than impressed with your debating skills. Still, my pride flowed. I will show them all! I took my shovel and I began the job at hand. Five hours later, and five hours from nightfall, I was sitting next to my seventh hole. My hands hurt, I was sunburned and somehow my shovel weighed about 100 times more than it did when I started.
As darkness started moving in, I heard the truck. I knew it well, and while I was so happy it was coming, I was not so excited about the fact it was coming from the end of the line where I was supposed to be. This was going to be bad...Uncle Dee. Alone. Not good. I am from the era of corporal punishment and my Uncle Dee was a General. He was not about the volume of swats, but rather the effectiveness. Prideful smart talk from one of his nephews was grounds for what he called a "board meeting". However, that was not to be. He pulled up and got out of the truck with the first aid kit. He doctored my hands, checked me for ticks and anything else that may have decided to take advantage of an exhausted boy, then helped me load my tools in the truck and we headed for the house. He was quiet for about thirty seconds, then he told me what I needed to hear after a day of "softening" in the sun. "You are hard-headed and God deals with hard-heads from the rear end side of life. Pride is something that demands, not dreams. Find the value in what you do every day and be thankful. Everyone of us started where you are. Each of us learned the value of carrying the tools before we used them. To say you can do what they have taken years to learn is disrespectful. Can you carry the full tool bag? No. And we don't ask you to, instead we let you carry one more tool when you are ready. And before you know it, you will be carrying a full bag and able to use the tools all day with the callouses that come with carrying them. Life is not going to be easy and you will not have all of the answers, but if you learn nothing else from this day, remember pride will only make it worse, especially if you are trying to convince people you do have all of the answers."
The compilation of wisdom above is just some of what I carry from his legacy. There were more talks and there were "board meetings", but more than that, there was love. Unconditional love from a man that was still taking care of us long after we left the farm. He died in a head-on collision several years ago, heading into to town after working on his farm, mending fence posts. He was 88 and the only pride he took was in the salvation he was given for no other reason than "God so Loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son."
Still not man enough to carry his tool bag...
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Hopeless at 21 years old...may it never be.
What is hopelessness? I began thinking about this today after hearing about a young man, 21 years old, committing suicide in his parent's home. 21 years old...hopeless and without any vision of what could be. 21 years old and without hope of a loving, forgiving God. There is no way I can know if he had a relationship of Grace at the time of his death, but I can tell you he did not fully understand how powerful God's love can be when we are hurting, lonely or just plain hopeless. Did I ever help him see how loved he is?
Did he know that God saw the failures and frustrations long before they came? Did he know that he was part of a plan that God saw him in before he was born? Did he understand that the failure of his parents were not his failures? Did he know that his sibling's success was not his measuring stick?
I watched him grow up from the 7th grade. He is the same age as my son. Through his father, I know he struggled with the same things my son struggled with. Teenage angst. Girls. Friends, no friends. Fitting in, not fitting in. Pushed to be the best at whatever they do and never feeling like the best. Dad's that pushed...hard.
Did he know his father wanted him to be happy? Did he know his sister looked up to him? Did he know his mother adored him? Did he know he was loved? Really loved...
Do you know you are loved? Do you know you are not the mistakes you make? Do you know your family loves you?
Does your family know they are loved? Does your family know they are not the mistakes they make? Does your family know you love them?
Tell them, ask them, show them...never ever assume they know.
Eternal hell is a separation from God and His glorious Love. Hopelessness can be that hell on earth.
Share the Love and show people, show your friends, show your family there is hope. Not because you have all of the answers, but because they are not alone. They are surrounded by that same Glorious Love from God, through you.
21 years old...there is so much more than just this moment in time. Pain alone can be torturous, but being in pain alone is hell.
Share the love you have been given freely and unconditionally...healing begins with each of us.
Did he know that God saw the failures and frustrations long before they came? Did he know that he was part of a plan that God saw him in before he was born? Did he understand that the failure of his parents were not his failures? Did he know that his sibling's success was not his measuring stick?
I watched him grow up from the 7th grade. He is the same age as my son. Through his father, I know he struggled with the same things my son struggled with. Teenage angst. Girls. Friends, no friends. Fitting in, not fitting in. Pushed to be the best at whatever they do and never feeling like the best. Dad's that pushed...hard.
Did he know his father wanted him to be happy? Did he know his sister looked up to him? Did he know his mother adored him? Did he know he was loved? Really loved...
Do you know you are loved? Do you know you are not the mistakes you make? Do you know your family loves you?
Does your family know they are loved? Does your family know they are not the mistakes they make? Does your family know you love them?
Tell them, ask them, show them...never ever assume they know.
Eternal hell is a separation from God and His glorious Love. Hopelessness can be that hell on earth.
Share the Love and show people, show your friends, show your family there is hope. Not because you have all of the answers, but because they are not alone. They are surrounded by that same Glorious Love from God, through you.
21 years old...there is so much more than just this moment in time. Pain alone can be torturous, but being in pain alone is hell.
Share the love you have been given freely and unconditionally...healing begins with each of us.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Innocents Lost
Fear, anxiety, ADHD, stress, hyperactivity, blah, blah, blah...
We are a society of excuses, with little to no accountability. (this is not going to be a very "touchy-feely" blog today, so I will apologize in advance for my editorial)
Recently I was shopping at Sam's. This is a routine now with the business up and running and improving each year. My visits are organized and like most who shop consistently to stock their inventory, I know where I am going and what I need and do not want to be slowed down. Patience has always been a challenge and Sam's has been the best medicine. This story, however, is not about patience. It is about accountability and confrontation, two areas our country has decided to forego in lieu of media coverage and popularity.
As I rolled around with my flatbed full of supplies for the coming week, aimed at the "Flatbed Only" line as identified by a large sign, I found myself behind a gentleman with a basket, carrying two gallons of milk, two loaves of bread and a book. He was waiting patiently behind a woman checking out her supplies on a flatbed. As is the case in most "wait in line" moments, he turned and made eye contact, smiling and looking at the full flatbed I was leaning on and the full flatbed behind me. I guess he felt the effort of saying, "I'm sorry, I did not realize what line this was," might ease whatever tensions may have been brewing. It actually brought the opposite reaction.
My reaction was like that of a person leaping into the closing elevator door that someone fails to keep open, but this time, instead of a glare with silent indignation, I told my fellow human what I believed to be true..."What are you sorry for? Being inconsiderate? Being illiterate? Or being so oblivious to your own selfish nature, you actually believe we think you're sorry?" He was taken aback by the unexpected reaction to his being a jackass, then angry. "You cannot talk to me this way! It is disrespectful and people should not talk to each other that way!" I responded by saying, "Apparently, like the "Flatbed Only" sign, that is only a suggestion." I continued, "if you are going to make your own rules, be prepared for the consequences of your decisions." At this point a manager I knew from my frequent visits interceded and said she would check me out at the next lane. As she scanned the items she made it clear I should not blame other customers for having to wait in line. Everyone has to wait. At this point it became clear what I should do. What the right thing to say would be...
"I am not angry at him for my need to wait, in fact, I am not angry at him at all. I do not know him well enough to like or dislike him. My comments to him were simply a direct response to what was a completely BS comment. His inability to accept criticism of his poor choice is his problem, not mine. The fact the incident even occurred is not just his fault, it's yours. If you are going to identify a lane as "Flatbed Only" and fail to enforce the designation, then take the sign down. Otherwise, you are simply feeding the self-centered actions and eventually, the conflict of customers."
Needless to say, not my best moment, but after today, I am strengthened in my belief we are opting for the easy way out versus dealing with the issues that bother us. People don't speak up for themselves, either out of fear of retribution, or being held accountable for what they say. We have young people that cannot stand up for themselves and are bullied. If I am a student in a public school and defend myself from a known bully, I will be taken away in handcuffs, put in a modified school for at least a week and now I have an issue. Why would I stand up for myself? Not only do I take a beating (no one fights without getting banged up) but now I am punished for doing what comes naturally in defending myself. Confrontation is now a sit-down with Dr. Phil, or some other know-it-all, self-prescribed expert where we determine it's time to "get real". Here's a little advice on getting real; if someone is being a jackass, tell them they are being a jackass. If someone is doing something you agree with, tell them. Even if by supporting them you find others do not agree. Independence is a two-edged sword. We want to be free to make decisions, but no one wants the weight of accountability. Politicians run for office to be leaders, but waffle back and forth, and are manipulated by greed to keep the position. What has the government really done for us in the past twenty years? Republican, Democrat, it doesn't matter, they're all businessmen looking for a nice job, with good pay and benefits. Just like the executives at a large financial institution, say like Wells Fargo, there is no concern for the customer (voters), only a need to run the budget and get the bonus. Who challenges these people? No one, because through legislation we are neutering those who should be able to make change.
My uncle used to say of fighting between friends and family, "You don't get fire without sparks". In life, how many sparks do we create? How often do we challenge? How often do you encourage a challenge to what you say or do? How often do we listen and give honest feedback to those who need to voice their thoughts, fears, etc?
As you pass through a public space, count the heads pointed down checking texts, emails or simply playing a game. Alone in a public space...no interaction, no conflict, no reality except what you make-up in your next post. Dehumanizing those around you and yourself at the same time. Making eye contact is the next challenge on "The Biggest Loser".
We are a social people using an anti-social methodology. I am blogging, but it simply a reaction to the murder of 20 school children. Twenty innocent lives lost in the expression of a sad and lonely person who felt the only way to interact and communicate was to attack those who could not possibly defend themselves or tell him he was wrong. (why is it people who kill don't try walking into a police station where the odds for the victims are considerably better?) Simple suicide was not enough for him. He needed to make a statement the same way everyone does these days. "click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, send" No accountability...jackass.
We are a society of excuses, with little to no accountability. (this is not going to be a very "touchy-feely" blog today, so I will apologize in advance for my editorial)
Recently I was shopping at Sam's. This is a routine now with the business up and running and improving each year. My visits are organized and like most who shop consistently to stock their inventory, I know where I am going and what I need and do not want to be slowed down. Patience has always been a challenge and Sam's has been the best medicine. This story, however, is not about patience. It is about accountability and confrontation, two areas our country has decided to forego in lieu of media coverage and popularity.
As I rolled around with my flatbed full of supplies for the coming week, aimed at the "Flatbed Only" line as identified by a large sign, I found myself behind a gentleman with a basket, carrying two gallons of milk, two loaves of bread and a book. He was waiting patiently behind a woman checking out her supplies on a flatbed. As is the case in most "wait in line" moments, he turned and made eye contact, smiling and looking at the full flatbed I was leaning on and the full flatbed behind me. I guess he felt the effort of saying, "I'm sorry, I did not realize what line this was," might ease whatever tensions may have been brewing. It actually brought the opposite reaction.
My reaction was like that of a person leaping into the closing elevator door that someone fails to keep open, but this time, instead of a glare with silent indignation, I told my fellow human what I believed to be true..."What are you sorry for? Being inconsiderate? Being illiterate? Or being so oblivious to your own selfish nature, you actually believe we think you're sorry?" He was taken aback by the unexpected reaction to his being a jackass, then angry. "You cannot talk to me this way! It is disrespectful and people should not talk to each other that way!" I responded by saying, "Apparently, like the "Flatbed Only" sign, that is only a suggestion." I continued, "if you are going to make your own rules, be prepared for the consequences of your decisions." At this point a manager I knew from my frequent visits interceded and said she would check me out at the next lane. As she scanned the items she made it clear I should not blame other customers for having to wait in line. Everyone has to wait. At this point it became clear what I should do. What the right thing to say would be...
"I am not angry at him for my need to wait, in fact, I am not angry at him at all. I do not know him well enough to like or dislike him. My comments to him were simply a direct response to what was a completely BS comment. His inability to accept criticism of his poor choice is his problem, not mine. The fact the incident even occurred is not just his fault, it's yours. If you are going to identify a lane as "Flatbed Only" and fail to enforce the designation, then take the sign down. Otherwise, you are simply feeding the self-centered actions and eventually, the conflict of customers."
Needless to say, not my best moment, but after today, I am strengthened in my belief we are opting for the easy way out versus dealing with the issues that bother us. People don't speak up for themselves, either out of fear of retribution, or being held accountable for what they say. We have young people that cannot stand up for themselves and are bullied. If I am a student in a public school and defend myself from a known bully, I will be taken away in handcuffs, put in a modified school for at least a week and now I have an issue. Why would I stand up for myself? Not only do I take a beating (no one fights without getting banged up) but now I am punished for doing what comes naturally in defending myself. Confrontation is now a sit-down with Dr. Phil, or some other know-it-all, self-prescribed expert where we determine it's time to "get real". Here's a little advice on getting real; if someone is being a jackass, tell them they are being a jackass. If someone is doing something you agree with, tell them. Even if by supporting them you find others do not agree. Independence is a two-edged sword. We want to be free to make decisions, but no one wants the weight of accountability. Politicians run for office to be leaders, but waffle back and forth, and are manipulated by greed to keep the position. What has the government really done for us in the past twenty years? Republican, Democrat, it doesn't matter, they're all businessmen looking for a nice job, with good pay and benefits. Just like the executives at a large financial institution, say like Wells Fargo, there is no concern for the customer (voters), only a need to run the budget and get the bonus. Who challenges these people? No one, because through legislation we are neutering those who should be able to make change.
My uncle used to say of fighting between friends and family, "You don't get fire without sparks". In life, how many sparks do we create? How often do we challenge? How often do you encourage a challenge to what you say or do? How often do we listen and give honest feedback to those who need to voice their thoughts, fears, etc?
As you pass through a public space, count the heads pointed down checking texts, emails or simply playing a game. Alone in a public space...no interaction, no conflict, no reality except what you make-up in your next post. Dehumanizing those around you and yourself at the same time. Making eye contact is the next challenge on "The Biggest Loser".
We are a social people using an anti-social methodology. I am blogging, but it simply a reaction to the murder of 20 school children. Twenty innocent lives lost in the expression of a sad and lonely person who felt the only way to interact and communicate was to attack those who could not possibly defend themselves or tell him he was wrong. (why is it people who kill don't try walking into a police station where the odds for the victims are considerably better?) Simple suicide was not enough for him. He needed to make a statement the same way everyone does these days. "click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, send" No accountability...jackass.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
You are my Sunshine...
What is it about a beautiful sky that makes me stop and want to take a picture? I am no photographer, so the image does not carry the power of the moment. Like sitting and watching the waves while visiting the ocean, these moments of nature's awesome beauty just amaze me. My faith tells me God puts these miracle moments in as "speed bumps" during the day to remind me not to sweat the small stuff. Amazingly, these moments occur at the beginning and end of each day as if to say, "Do the best you can today and remember I am in control when the day ends." What a peace this provides during the craziest of times. Even when the world seems to spin a little too fast, the reminders are there that we are not alone to fend for ourselves. Love is powerful, beautiful and inspiring, but most of all, Love is always there for us. Knowing this gives me the opportunity to be someone's sunrise, or sunset. Sharing the Love is the point. Be a sunrise for someone to help get their day started, or a sunset to remind them their efforts are not wasted.
Beloved, let us love one another. For love is from God and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7-8
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Let Them Fly
As we watch the mother bird slowly nudge the baby towards the edge of the nest, the young bird flaps instinctively, preparing for the eventual sensation of freedom...
Not an unfamiliar picture, or metaphor in the raising of children, but I am aware now, more than ever, of the reality of this process. Yes, we raise our children to be prepared for the "world out there" and pray they have listened. At times, after a session of "you don't know me" (the timeless teenage word game we have all played) we want them to learn by fire just as we did. But we quickly recall just how much that sucked and wish we had never thought it.
This picture of the mother "pushing" the baby out of the nest is not as accurate as we interpret when we are young. After raising children to be out on their own, it is incredibly painful to push them out and let them be on their own. A mother carries the child for nine months with one goal, push them out. But after the pain, the immediate need is to hold the baby close. The eighteen year "push" is no different. We want the kids to grow and develop, be strong and courageous, stand up for what they believe and be the people we know they can be. When it comes time for them to be "born" into the world as adults, our first reaction is to bring them back and hold them, protect them and make sure nothing can hurt them.
It has always been funny to me how this "push and pull" system works:
We teach them to crawl, walk and drive, but don't want them to go too far.
We teach them to talk, study and stand up for what they believe, but only with other people, not us.
We give them the ability to dream and chase whatever they desire, but try to temper their spirit.
Just as we started the process of teaching when they were young, we now have to let them go and explore, developing who they will be. Our job now is to be there for them, when they need us, not when we need them to need us. There are blessings in all of this and the growing up is not just for the kids, but I am taken back to that mother bird and her baby...
Perhaps it is not as easy as it appears. Maybe she is whispering the whole time; "It looks cold", "Did you remember about the places you should not perch", "You need to eat", "Don't talk to strangers", "We are here for you".
Of course the baby is not necessarily flapping its wings to stay in the nest, but rather working to fly off and experience the world they have heard so much about. Ground be damned, predators beware, it is my turn to show others how to fly!
Science tells us most birds will nest within ear-shot of the nest they were "pushed" out of, perhaps the sounds of our childhood can be soothing at the end of a long day conquering the world. In our technology saturated world, that closeness is easier as our birds fly away.
Our kids moving out and onward is not parenthood "retirement", but rather a responsibility we have been training for without even realizing it...
We have been in the stands, during performances and games, ready for the glance from the field...
We have been watching as the bicycle seat leaves our hands, in anticipation of the look of success...
We have been available for the tears, fears and cheers throughout.
That is my role now full time...waiting for the moment they glance back, looking for the thumbs up, encouraging and being so proud of the people they have flown on to be.
Not an unfamiliar picture, or metaphor in the raising of children, but I am aware now, more than ever, of the reality of this process. Yes, we raise our children to be prepared for the "world out there" and pray they have listened. At times, after a session of "you don't know me" (the timeless teenage word game we have all played) we want them to learn by fire just as we did. But we quickly recall just how much that sucked and wish we had never thought it.
This picture of the mother "pushing" the baby out of the nest is not as accurate as we interpret when we are young. After raising children to be out on their own, it is incredibly painful to push them out and let them be on their own. A mother carries the child for nine months with one goal, push them out. But after the pain, the immediate need is to hold the baby close. The eighteen year "push" is no different. We want the kids to grow and develop, be strong and courageous, stand up for what they believe and be the people we know they can be. When it comes time for them to be "born" into the world as adults, our first reaction is to bring them back and hold them, protect them and make sure nothing can hurt them.
It has always been funny to me how this "push and pull" system works:
We teach them to crawl, walk and drive, but don't want them to go too far.
We teach them to talk, study and stand up for what they believe, but only with other people, not us.
We give them the ability to dream and chase whatever they desire, but try to temper their spirit.
Just as we started the process of teaching when they were young, we now have to let them go and explore, developing who they will be. Our job now is to be there for them, when they need us, not when we need them to need us. There are blessings in all of this and the growing up is not just for the kids, but I am taken back to that mother bird and her baby...
Perhaps it is not as easy as it appears. Maybe she is whispering the whole time; "It looks cold", "Did you remember about the places you should not perch", "You need to eat", "Don't talk to strangers", "We are here for you".
Of course the baby is not necessarily flapping its wings to stay in the nest, but rather working to fly off and experience the world they have heard so much about. Ground be damned, predators beware, it is my turn to show others how to fly!
Science tells us most birds will nest within ear-shot of the nest they were "pushed" out of, perhaps the sounds of our childhood can be soothing at the end of a long day conquering the world. In our technology saturated world, that closeness is easier as our birds fly away.
Our kids moving out and onward is not parenthood "retirement", but rather a responsibility we have been training for without even realizing it...
We have been in the stands, during performances and games, ready for the glance from the field...
We have been watching as the bicycle seat leaves our hands, in anticipation of the look of success...
We have been available for the tears, fears and cheers throughout.
That is my role now full time...waiting for the moment they glance back, looking for the thumbs up, encouraging and being so proud of the people they have flown on to be.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Father's Day
What a great Father's Day! One boy in for the weekend and another taking the day off to spend at home. That song "Cat's in the Cradle" running through my mind and I am thinking, "Wow, I did a great job!"... then I woke up.
The blessing of family is just that, a blessing. My ability to instill a feeling of manhood and discipline to my boys is one more example of God's grace in my life. They have grown into men who care for others, sacrifice their time, fight for what they believe is right and most of all, they have confidence and faith in the path God has put before them. Just for the record, any of those qualities I have developed over the years were not present at 20 and 17 years of age. Nor did I have the confidence in faith for God to guide me. Simply put, some run from God, and we see that as foolish, I tried to dig a hole to China to get away from God, so how dumb was that?
My fears, insecurities and well-rounded belief system (not sure how to type in a sarcastic tone) may have stunted the boys more than helped, unless you count the "Do Not Do This Chapter" as a valuable part of the training manual. What God has done through these guys is show me how to be a person strong in faith and committed to going where directed. Church is not a building where judgement is the focus...helping others is not a scam and giving to the church is not a retirement plan for those who happen to be in charge. Yes, the world is a tough place and there is evil, but what I have learned is we are here to be examples of the alternative. Yes, I have learned. They have taught me and in return, here are a few of the awesome lessons I have passed on to them:
* If you cannot hand me the tool I need, don't help.
* When I say "listening is important, I mean you listening to me."
* Cursing is the best way to express yourself.
* People are inherently bad and you should not trust anyone.
* Family is everything, that is why I travel for work all of the time.
* Family is important, that is why when I don't travel, I am at work.
* Sure I believe in you, I just won't let you try because I can do it better.
* I can yell louder, so I win.
* I had it tough, so you should too.
And my personal, "I will never be my Dad line..."
**Do as I say, not as I do...
Yes, God is very good! My skill set for teaching boys to be men is the equivalent of taking a Physics class using a Wood Shop textbook. (and maybe not even that good)
Please don't misunderstand, I do not sit around on Father's Day and fret about what a poor parent I have been. Just like the realization that my life has been saved through grace, without a thing I could do to earn it, I review the wonderful blessing of two boys that I did not deserve. Two boys I was never equipped to raise, but through that same grace, saw the ability of God to not only raise them, but raise me in the process. Father's Day is a very big day for me. Not for the recognition of how "awesome" I am (more sarcasm, but you knew that) but another day of being thankful for a gift I received in love. A gift to care for and nurture. And while I would love to take credit for two of the best young men I know, I am simply thankful to be a part of their lives.
Good job boys, you have raised me well!
The blessing of family is just that, a blessing. My ability to instill a feeling of manhood and discipline to my boys is one more example of God's grace in my life. They have grown into men who care for others, sacrifice their time, fight for what they believe is right and most of all, they have confidence and faith in the path God has put before them. Just for the record, any of those qualities I have developed over the years were not present at 20 and 17 years of age. Nor did I have the confidence in faith for God to guide me. Simply put, some run from God, and we see that as foolish, I tried to dig a hole to China to get away from God, so how dumb was that?
My fears, insecurities and well-rounded belief system (not sure how to type in a sarcastic tone) may have stunted the boys more than helped, unless you count the "Do Not Do This Chapter" as a valuable part of the training manual. What God has done through these guys is show me how to be a person strong in faith and committed to going where directed. Church is not a building where judgement is the focus...helping others is not a scam and giving to the church is not a retirement plan for those who happen to be in charge. Yes, the world is a tough place and there is evil, but what I have learned is we are here to be examples of the alternative. Yes, I have learned. They have taught me and in return, here are a few of the awesome lessons I have passed on to them:
* If you cannot hand me the tool I need, don't help.
* When I say "listening is important, I mean you listening to me."
* Cursing is the best way to express yourself.
* People are inherently bad and you should not trust anyone.
* Family is everything, that is why I travel for work all of the time.
* Family is important, that is why when I don't travel, I am at work.
* Sure I believe in you, I just won't let you try because I can do it better.
* I can yell louder, so I win.
* I had it tough, so you should too.
And my personal, "I will never be my Dad line..."
**Do as I say, not as I do...
Yes, God is very good! My skill set for teaching boys to be men is the equivalent of taking a Physics class using a Wood Shop textbook. (and maybe not even that good)
Please don't misunderstand, I do not sit around on Father's Day and fret about what a poor parent I have been. Just like the realization that my life has been saved through grace, without a thing I could do to earn it, I review the wonderful blessing of two boys that I did not deserve. Two boys I was never equipped to raise, but through that same grace, saw the ability of God to not only raise them, but raise me in the process. Father's Day is a very big day for me. Not for the recognition of how "awesome" I am (more sarcasm, but you knew that) but another day of being thankful for a gift I received in love. A gift to care for and nurture. And while I would love to take credit for two of the best young men I know, I am simply thankful to be a part of their lives.
Good job boys, you have raised me well!
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