35Peter said to him, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” And all the disciples said the same. Matthew 26:35
What a cocky bunch those disciples were! Jesus told them they would scatter and even after his prideful denial of Jesus' omniscience, Peter went further to say he would die with Him before he denied Him. We know how the story went after that..thus, the "cockiness" of those who believe begins.
When I was a kid, I went to work with my uncles and helped on the farm. We would get up very early, eat breakfast, load up the trucks and head out for the day. As a small boy among some pretty big, country-strong men, the push to be a man was always there. Bags of tools, were in everyone's hands; the bigger the man, the bigger the bag of tools. In my young mind, these guys were giants. Incredibly strong, and tough with no fear of anything. Cuts, bruises, snakes, spiders, coyotes, tornadoes, they had an answer for all of them. I still look up to them and look to the wisdom they shared that I so pridefully set aside until I got a bit older.
Like Peter, I was a much stronger person in my heart and mind than I actually was. I was never happy just carrying tools to my uncles, I wanted to work. When I got a job digging post holes, I got my wish. There is very little in my life that has been more humbling than getting dropped off at one end of a fence line and told to make my way "to the turn" by dark. The "turn" was only a tenth of mile away, but we were putting posts every ten feet. That's 53 posts for those counting. My job was to dig the holes and place the posts. A tenth of a mile is kind of a long way and fifty-three 2ft holes makes it a lot longer. What makes this worse, is I asked for it. I was 10yrs old and wanted to be a man. My Uncle Dee told me over and over to be happy with what I was able to do and stop trying to be something I was not. I of course had some incredibly good arguments for giving me an opportunity to prove myself, but it was throwing a bag of tools that really convinced him I was the right man for the job.
I am not sure if everyone understands just how lonely a 3200 acre farm can be when you get stuck on the Western most corner by family that was less than impressed with your debating skills. Still, my pride flowed. I will show them all! I took my shovel and I began the job at hand. Five hours later, and five hours from nightfall, I was sitting next to my seventh hole. My hands hurt, I was sunburned and somehow my shovel weighed about 100 times more than it did when I started.
As darkness started moving in, I heard the truck. I knew it well, and while I was so happy it was coming, I was not so excited about the fact it was coming from the end of the line where I was supposed to be. This was going to be bad...Uncle Dee. Alone. Not good. I am from the era of corporal punishment and my Uncle Dee was a General. He was not about the volume of swats, but rather the effectiveness. Prideful smart talk from one of his nephews was grounds for what he called a "board meeting". However, that was not to be. He pulled up and got out of the truck with the first aid kit. He doctored my hands, checked me for ticks and anything else that may have decided to take advantage of an exhausted boy, then helped me load my tools in the truck and we headed for the house. He was quiet for about thirty seconds, then he told me what I needed to hear after a day of "softening" in the sun. "You are hard-headed and God deals with hard-heads from the rear end side of life. Pride is something that demands, not dreams. Find the value in what you do every day and be thankful. Everyone of us started where you are. Each of us learned the value of carrying the tools before we used them. To say you can do what they have taken years to learn is disrespectful. Can you carry the full tool bag? No. And we don't ask you to, instead we let you carry one more tool when you are ready. And before you know it, you will be carrying a full bag and able to use the tools all day with the callouses that come with carrying them. Life is not going to be easy and you will not have all of the answers, but if you learn nothing else from this day, remember pride will only make it worse, especially if you are trying to convince people you do have all of the answers."
The compilation of wisdom above is just some of what I carry from his legacy. There were more talks and there were "board meetings", but more than that, there was love. Unconditional love from a man that was still taking care of us long after we left the farm. He died in a head-on collision several years ago, heading into to town after working on his farm, mending fence posts. He was 88 and the only pride he took was in the salvation he was given for no other reason than "God so Loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son."
Still not man enough to carry his tool bag...
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