What Do We Really Want?

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.


It's a tough call on what we really want...sure we talk about "want vs. need", but what do we really want?  Are we that different from the child walking down a toy isle during Christmas?  "That is soooooo cool, I want that!", "That is sooooo cool, I want that!", "That is sooooo cool, I want that!".  This search for satisfaction will continue until the realization that "having it all" is not an option, and then the real pain begins.  We want it all and cannot always commit to the one thing/goal/person, etc.  Our need to be totally in control, puts us in the unfavorable position of being in control of everything...see the dilemma?  With our children, there is no way we purchase every toy they want because we know the consequences that entails.  Toys everywhere, some broken, and the inevitable feeling that "I don't have any good toys!", even though the child received everything they wanted.  (which, by the way, leads to frustration for Mom and Dad too!)


When we shop during the holidays or birthdays, we tell our children to think about what they really want.  Will it last?  Why do you want it...to be cool, to fit in, to express yourself?  What is the real cost?  Nothing costs what's on the price tag.  Anyone with a "free" puppy can tell you that!  Some of us tell our kids to make a list and rank the items from most important to least important.  Some even have them do research on the items, finding out the details on what it's really like to own that item.  Finally, there has to be a decision, commitment to what we all believe is the best decision.  Certainly, as parents we give our direction based upon experience and even though we know what the probable outcome will be, we let the child make the call. When we let our kids decide, it allows for a "softer" discussion if things go awry with the most awesome toy in the world once the package is opened and it is not.  We do not say, "I told you so!", we say, "This was your decision, and now we make the best of it".  As parents, we feel the pain of a poor outcome and want to make it better.  No one wants to see disappointment in the eyes of their child, even if you did tell them "awesome" is just a word on the side of the box.  We want to immediately move towards a new opportunity to make a decision, so our children can learn from their experience.  It can be as simple as getting ice cream and letting them choose what they want, no questions asked.  They should never be afraid to try.  Hopefully, they will ask a few more questions the next time.  Maybe base their decision on more than a flashy ad campaign and even, listen to the guidance from someone (not always Mom and Dad) who knows and can counsel.  As parents, we pray that our children learn to be brave, ask questions and be thankful for the ability to make decisions, even when the outcome is not what they expected.


We parents are very smart when it comes to our children...are we really any different than those we try to direct?  How often do we take the anxiety of decision making to God?  How often do we research and ask questions?  How thankful are we when the "toy" we want is coated with lead-based paint and we cannot have it?  Can we be half as mature as we expect our children to be?


Jesus said, "Bring unto me the children...",  I believe that meant all of us, not just the youthful.  In the verse that started this post, I believe we are being coached on practicing what we preach as parents.  God let's us decide, but I am sure He is just like us with our children...hoping they ask for guidance and direction, hoping they will actually act on that direction and then be thankful with the results, even if they don't understand why it did not work out exactly as they planned.   Just like we are with our children, God provides unconditional love whether our decisions work out perfectly, or fail miserably.  What's interesting, is if we follow our own advice as the verse above directs, we will find the the outcomes are typically positive and better than expected far more often than miserable failures.  


Isn't it amazing how much what we need is what we really want? :)