Father's Day

What a great Father's Day!  One boy in for the weekend and another taking the day off to spend at home. That song "Cat's in the Cradle" running through my mind and I am thinking, "Wow, I did a great job!"... then I woke up.  


The blessing of family is just that, a blessing.  My ability to instill a feeling of manhood and discipline to my boys is one more example of God's grace in my life.  They have grown into men who care for others, sacrifice their time, fight for what they believe is right and most of all, they have confidence and faith in the path God has put before them. Just for the record, any of those qualities I have developed over the years were not present at 20 and 17 years of age.  Nor did I have the confidence in faith for God to guide me.  Simply put, some run from God, and we see that as foolish, I tried to dig a hole to China to get away from God, so how dumb was that?


My fears, insecurities and well-rounded belief system (not sure how to type in a sarcastic tone) may have stunted the boys more than helped, unless you count the "Do Not Do This Chapter" as a valuable part of the training manual. What God has done through these guys is show me how to be a person strong in faith and committed to going where directed.  Church is not a building where judgement is the focus...helping others is not a scam and giving to the church is not a retirement plan for those who happen to be in charge.  Yes, the world is a tough place and there is evil, but what I have learned is we are here to be examples of the alternative.  Yes, I have learned.  They have taught me and in return, here are a few of the awesome lessons I have passed on to them:


* If you cannot hand me the tool I need, don't help.
* When I say "listening is important, I mean you listening to me."
* Cursing is the best way to express yourself.
* People are inherently bad and you should not trust anyone.
* Family is everything, that is why I travel for work all of the time.
* Family is important, that is why when I don't travel, I am at work.
* Sure I believe in you, I just won't let you try because I can do it better.
* I can yell louder, so I win.
* I had it tough, so you should too.


And my personal, "I will never be my Dad line..."


**Do as I say, not as I do...


Yes, God is very good!  My skill set for teaching boys to be men is the equivalent of taking a Physics class using a Wood Shop textbook. (and maybe not even that good)


Please don't misunderstand, I do not sit around on Father's Day and fret about what a poor parent I have been.  Just like the realization that my life has been saved through grace, without a thing I could do to earn it, I review the wonderful blessing of two boys that I did not deserve.  Two boys I was never equipped to raise, but through that same grace, saw the ability of God to not only raise them, but raise me in the process.  Father's Day is a very big day for me.  Not for the recognition of how "awesome" I am (more sarcasm, but you knew that) but another day of being thankful for a gift I received in love.  A gift to care for and nurture.  And while I would love to take credit for two of the best young men I know, I am simply thankful to be a part of their lives.


Good job boys, you have raised  me well!

"Be sure to save room..."

What kind of "Foodie" would I be without a good food story? :)


As I sit thinking about responsibility, getting older and both my age and the responsibilities seem to grow proportionately, I am wondering why it is so difficult to have faith that all things are possible?  The normal answer when someone asks what faith is usually includes an answer that includes "believing in something you cannot see...", "it's like sitting in a chair..." or my favorite, "you just know...".  While I completely understand the definition of anything that is so personal and yet untouchable, should be difficult to explain.  Maybe that's why they say we "live by faith...setting an example".


My point here, however, is not so much the definition, but why it is so hard to have faith?  I believe there can be miracles...I actually believe there are miracles every day, we have just become numb them and take them for granted.  Anyone seen a sunrise lately?  Been to the ocean, or just looked up at the Fall sky and surveyed the incredible beauty of how small we really are?  These are the easy miracles.  Each of us has a miracle in our lives...almost daily, if we really look.  So why can't we have faith??


Easy answer, it is so ambiguous...


Sure, I believe, but bad things happen even if I have faith.  Why leave my conscious understanding of the world and be caught with my guard down when everything hits the fan.  Global warming, bullies at school and work, drunk parents, sick family members, war, famine, poorly run government, terrorism...where does my faith get me with all of these tangible threats?  Daily I hear that we are ruining the world we live in and that natural and man-made disaster is around the corner.  Neighbors, news outlets and people on the street all say the economy and the general state of the world has never been worse, until tomorrow where it will certainly decline to new lows.


Amazingly, through this review of reasons for the lack of ability to have faith, I have found faith is not lost, but rather mis-guided...


If it is so hard to have faith there is a God that loves us unconditionally and wants what's best for us, why is it so easy to believe every person in a different wardrobe is out to get us?  Why can we embrace the worst in people though we have never met them?  How can we have faith the world is on the way down and the people have nothing but despair and suffering to look forward to each day when we can take time to see those miracles?  We have placed our faith in what the stranger on a plane tells us, rather than a God that loves us.  


I am reminded of when my kids were younger and out to dinner with us.  Of course there were vegetables involved and without fail, once the chicken and macaroni and cheese were gone, with nothing left but green beans, my sons were full.  "Sorry Dad, I just cannot eat any more...I am too full".  My response was firm at first, eat the vegetables and if you throw them up, I will apologize.  That only works if you do not put the "puke" idea in their heads...you do apologize, by the way.  My next approach applies more to the current discussion...


When the pleas for mercy began, I simply accepted their refusal to eat the vegetables.  The sense of relief was evident and they were able to enjoy the family time without the pressure of learning the benefits of a balanced diet.  When my wife and I finished our meal and the waiter came by to clear plates, there was the typical, "Did you save room for dessert?", to which I resolutely responded, "Absolutely, but just for my wife and me, the boys are too full." I then went on to enjoy, and sometimes suffer through, my dessert as the boys watched with significantly more pain than the vegetables offered them.  This process only occurred a few times before the message was burned into their brains...we do not make up excuses to avoid the tough stuff.  When we struggle, there is a blessing at the end.


No one is foolish enough to believe the times we are experiencing are easy.  Unemployment, natural disasters, war and the unavoidable consequences of living in a society that has believed it is "above it all", can be a terrifying environment.  The God that loves us unconditionally is sitting at the table and reminding us that vegetables are good for us.  Yes, that is over-simplified and gives a strong argument to "the wisdom of man (being) folly...", but are there not "vegetables" for all of us?  We find it so easy to believe those vegetables will be the death of us, but forget the dessert that awaits us all if we have the faith to stop "faking" the fullness of the world.  "I am sorry God, but I am so full of remorse and fear, there is no room for faith"; "Really, I am going to puke if I have to believe everything is under control"; "God, you don't understand, it's just too much!"...


How silly will we look when dessert comes?  Believe me, heaven is the best dessert ever...worth every "vegetable" this world can throw at you!  Funny how we don't change much from when we were kids.  We still want the dessert without the balance of the vegetables.  How much sweeter is dessert when it is getting rid of the broccoli taste!


I know the pursuit of a more faith-filled life is not going to be easy, and surely the challenges will be tough, but I know I will make it.  I have faith.